Then I get up, my knees hurting and covered with dirt, my mouth tasting like cum, semen on my breath, and then I feel bad about myself, recriminating myself for being such a faggot, for letting men use me like that. And it feels good to say it, to have you read it, to have you think, “what a fucking faggot!”Īnd when I finally can take no more, I jerk off, shooting my load on the restroom floor or onto a tree in the woods. I’m ashamed of it and proud of it at the same time. How many can I take? Three? Four? Five? I’ve done as many as seven. Sometimes I wait for an hour or more for the next man to show up. I can slowly jack off for hours, waiting for yet another man to show up to use me. Spending hours at a spot in the woods, or at a porno store, or a public restroom, seeing how many mens’ loads I can take. I like the degradation of having strangers use me like that. Perhaps I would get lucky and there would be multiple men there. So it was that I found myself yet again driving over to a public park that I had found, with the explicit idea of kneeling down in front of some stranger and allowing myself to be used as mouth-fuck. And to enjoy the power and thrill of making someone swallow their ejaculate at the climax. I discovered that as much as I liked the idea of being used, many men, particularly married men, liked the idea of using another human being, selfishly and completely, and pleasuring themselves with no thought to the other person.
Out-of-the-way restrooms, public parks, woods, parking areas, adult bookstores, porno theaters – all places that men found or created with one idea in mind – that guys like me could be used by other men for quick and To be someone’s bitch.Īnd as I got older, I found out there were places I could go and do just that. The idea of being down on my knees while some man ejaculated in my mouth disgusted me and turned me on at the same time. And then the idea of actually having a guy ejaculate in my mouth (disgusting!) made me really shoot.Īnd before long, I was fantasizing about swallowing men’s semen, not because I felt it was desirable, but because it was nasty and dirty. But as I jerked off night after night, thinking about men’s cocks, the idea of putting a guys dick in my mouth, disgusting as it seemed, made me orgasm more intensely than before. While I was quite enthralled at that age by the sight of a man’s cock, the idea of putting it in my mouth seemed disgusting and alien. When I was a boy, someone explained to me what a blowjob was.
I want a man to take advantage of me and degrade me and abuse me, simply for his amusement. I like the idea of kneeling down in front of a man and having my mouth used as a makeshift cunt for his pleasure. I know what I am and what I have wanted since I was a boy.